Back in 1991, I heard about a movie called The Dark Backward.  In this movie, Judd Nelson plays a garbage man that moonlights as an unfunny stand-up comic.   His act career as a comic picks up a little when he grows a third arm out of his back.  How would I not be interested in this movie?  Is it a surprise that this film didn’t see a wide release? It went to video soon after it was released and developed a cult following.

This movie was hard to find anywhere around 1991.  None of the local video stores had it for rent.  Stores that sold video tapes didn’t carry it. It was a few years before I found it on the shelf of a store selling used video tapes. In the years since then, I have been able to find a good copy on DVD.  There are several reasons to that we like this movie.

First, teen idol Judd Nelson looks like a greasy dweeb in the main role of Marty Malt.  After he grows the third arm out the middle of his back, he tries to spice up his act by adopting the stage name Desi the Three-Armed Wonder Comic.  His fellow garbage man, Gus is played by the wonderful Bill Paxton.  To try and add to the charm of Marty’s comedy act, overly optimistic Gus joins the act, playing the accordion between jokes as Marty holds out his arms while slowing spinning on stage. Another highlight of the casting of this film is Wayne Newton as their agent, Jackie Chrome.

This film does a great job of creating a sleazy, dirty world where the terrible comedy of Marty Malt is the most realistic thing you see.  One of the most disturbing things you see in the film is when Gus takes Marty to party with 3 extremely large women in various states of undress. 

This film is considered a dark comedy, but I think the atmosphere it creates has a horror film feel.  It’s the reason that Judd Nelson scares me.

I was at work when I received a call from home.  I talked to my wife for a little while and then my oldest daughter wanted to talk to me.  She was about 4 years old at the time.  We didn’t talk very long. As we wrapped up our conversation, she said, “Daddy, do you know what I want to watch when you get home?”  I said “What” and she replied, “The Hideous Sun Demon.”

We had watched this goofy little movie before and had fun watching it. The kids watched Disney films when they were at home with their mom but when dad came home, we watched silly horror films.

They use clips of this movie in the bad movie compilation film It Came from Hollywood. The main clip they show take place in a nightclub where an actress is sitting at a piano singing a song Strange Pursuit.  She is supposed to be playing the piano too, but it is obvious that the music that you hear is not being played by her. Most of the time, only one of her arms is moving. Later in the song, she crosses her hand over to play some notes. It’s probably one of the worst jobs of pretending to play a musical instrument ever filmed. 

The plot of the film involves a scientist who gets exposed to radiation. Later in the film, he turns into a monster whenever he goes into sunlight.  The rest of the plot is standard 1950’s man in a rubber mask monster stuff. The other interesting thing about this movie is that some of the soundtrack music was used about 10 years later in Night of the Living Dead during the chase scene in the cemetery. 

The movie Frogs was released on my birthday in 1972 when I was turning 10 years old.  I didn’t see it during its original release.  But I remember seeing commercials for it on TV and ads in the newspaper.  All the ads for the movie featured a frog with a human hand hanging out of the mouth.  This ad campaign has to be one of the all-time best for a movie.  The movie isn’t as good as the advertising, but it is a fun nature-gone-wild movie.  I probably saw it for the first time on TV on a channel that had a creature feature time slot.  I liked it from the very first time I saw it, but I have come to love it over the years.

The movie was filmed in Florida and appears to be set around a mansion on the coast of a southern state. Sam Elliot is a wildlife photographer who encounters Ray Milland’s family, who lives in the mansion.  Everyone has noticed more frogs than usual, and Ray Milland wants to get rid of them.  Family members and employees of the family start getting killed, usually without anyone knowing that it has happened, at least with the first few deaths.  One of the things that makes this movie fun is that most of the deaths are not caused by frogs even those the movie is called Frogs.  Other reptiles and amphibians are the killers.  Even birds and spiders get in on the action.  There are always frogs around when the murders occur and there is constant croaking on the soundtrack.

Ray Milland’s character is a grumpy old man that you wish would die early on.  He doesn’t get his just desserts until the end of the film, and it appears that his death might be the only one directly caused by frogs.  Sam Elliot’s character escapes the mansion with his love interest, played by Joan Van Ark and a couple of kids. But the movie ends with the suggestion that frogs are taking over everywhere.

Some people criticize the ads for this film because if the human hand sticking out of the mouth of the frog suggesting the movie might have had giant frogs eating people.  All the frogs in the film are normal sized and there is no suggestion that they are even biting humans.  But after the closing credits, there is an animated frog that hops across the screen with a human hand in its mouth.

I loved watching television game shows in the early 1970’s.  In 1972, CBS started showing The Price is Right, starring Bob Barker.  This was an updated version of a successful show from nearly a decade earlier.  Contestants guessed the prices of various products and some of the prizes they could win. I enjoyed seeing the attractive models who posed with the products being promoted. My favorite model was Anitra Ford. I found out a few years after this series started that Anitra Ford also appeared in several movies around the same time she was on The Price is Right.   I would not see most of these until many years later. My favorite that had her in a primary role is Invasion of the Bee Girls.

Anitra plays a scientist doing research on bees and their culture.  In the community around her research center, young men start dying of exhaustion during sex so naturally the federal government sends investigators to find out why.  It turns out that Anitra’s all female group of researchers have become bee girls. Along the way, the viewer is treated to a scene of where a woman is transformed into a bee girl by stripping her nude, pouring something like honey over her body, then allowing bees to cover her while she is exposed to radiation.  After this Peter Parker-type process, the bee girls have the ability to sap the life right out of their sex partners.  The good girl co-star of the film is rescued by the male government agent at the start of her transformation process. The agent is able to shoot the equipment with his pistol which releases a gas that kills all of the bee girls.

This film has nudity but no graphic sex. It is a typical 1973 R rated movie. The goofy title and plot line are the main things that drew me to this film, but the added bonus was to get to see more of Anitra Ford than I ever did on The Price is Right. It would be re-released in 1981 with the title Graveyard Tramps. I don’t understand why anyone thought this was a better title.

It’s now or never
Come hold me tight
Kiss me my darling
Be mine tonight”

These were the words I heard being sung while I was standing at a urinal in the men’s room in the visitors center soon after I arrived at Graceland.  But it wasn’t just Elvis singing.  A guy standing at another urinal just down from me was singing along with Elvis. If I wasn’t at Graceland during Elvis Week, I would have thought this was unusual.  But I see people singing along everywhere at Graceland.  When I exited the restroom, I stuck up a conversation with the singer.  Lou is from New York.  This is his 6^th time visiting Graceland and his 3^rd Elvis Week.  He has a TCB tattoo on the palm side of his left forearm.  He’s there with his girlfriend Jen.  He asks me for advice on good places to get ribs in Memphis.

My trips to the Candlelight Vigil have always been about more than people watching.  Meeting people has always been more interesting than just watching them.  I’ve always been willing to talk to people and ask them about their Elvis connections.  Interesting people sometime have the most interesting stories.

I saw a Japanese couple at a photo kiosk in one of the exhibit halls.  This kiosk allows you to take your picture and manipulate it, so it looks like you are wearing an Elvis jumpsuit.  The woman had posed for the picture, and they were trying to get a picture of the screen with their phone instead of paying to have the kiosk print it out. Their English was limited, and I don’t speak Japanese, but I was about to find out that they were from Tokyo.  This was their first trip to Graceland.  They were not staying for the vigil.

I was trying take a picture of myself in front of part of the jumpsuit exhibit when I met a couple from Wyoming.  They didn’t realize I was taking a selfie, so they thought they were in my way because they were standing in front of me.  They were in Memphis for the FedEx St. Jude Golf Championship being played that weekend.  They decided to make Graceland a part of their visit.  They had several questions about Graceland and Elvis.  The most interesting question was if Elvis had ever won a Grammy.  I walked around the corner with him to show him both Grammys. 

I naturally drawn to talk to anyone with Elvis hair, in a jumpsuit or any kind of Elvis style clothes. While shopping in one of the gift shops, I met Dave Stovall from the Peoria area. I was able to find a picture of us together from 2015 when he was wearing a jumpsuit. He was thinner and I was fatter.  He told me that he had been to Graceland 89 times and usually comes 3 to 4 times a year.  I told him that my first vigil was in 2002.  He was at that vigil with his girlfriend. He told me she was so attractive that she was next in line to be a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader.  He said she got mad at him when he accidentally burned her hair with his candle at the vigil. He complained about the rising prices at Graceland.  He said people aren’t coming anymore because it costs too much.  I didn’t tell him, but I think the main reason the crowds are smaller is because the Elvis fans are dying off.  And the number of new fans isn’t enough to replace them.  I hoped to see Dave later at the vigil. He told me he was going back to the Holiday Inn Express later to change into his jumpsuit. I never saw him at the vigil.

Dave wasn’t the only one that I had met before.  While I was going through an exhibit on the Baz Luhrmann Elvis movie, I saw a lady wearing a shirt that said she suffered from O.C.E.D., Obsessive Compulsive Elvis Disorder.  I asked if I could get a picture of her shirt, and she insisted I get pictures of her custom Elvis pants and shoes too. I met Donna from Branson, MO back in 2022. I got more interesting stories from her then and I suggest going back and reading them. This year she told me she had seen Elvis perform live 8 times.  In 2022, it was 7 times. Either her count was wrong this year or she’s seen him in the last 2 years.  This was her 4th trip to Elvis week. She was looking for an Elvis Shower curtain. Her daughter came on the trip this year just to take pictures of her. The daughter said in their house Elvis was like toilet paper. It’s always in the house. She told her mother has Elvis in every room except bathroom and she wanted to fix that. Her current shower curtain says get naked.

 At 1:30 it was 93 degrees. Heat bouncing off concrete. No air stirring not much of crowd. I started to consider going home early.

 When I was going to take this year’s souvenirs back to my car, a woman from St. Louis named Lynetta told me she liked my shirt.  I was wearing an official Graceland shirt made in the style of a shirt that Elvis wears in Blue Hawaii. It gets a lot of attention, but they are all over the place during Elvis Week.  In the gift shops and on the fans. This is the second shirt that I’ve had, the first one was before I lost weight. Lynetta was there with her friend Stephanie from Kansas City.  Lynetta was the real Elvis fan of the pair. She had been to Graceland about 20 times, but this was her 2nd Elvis week. She asked for tips on navigating the Candlelight Vigil and when to get it line.  Lynetta had bought some material like my shirt to make her own custom top, and I told her about the Elvis shirts that my wife had made for me years ago. They were hip enough to the Elvis scene to refer to the tribute artists as ETAs (Elvis Tribute Artists).  I told them they could see plenty of ETAs at the Elvis Tent.

The Elvis Tent was my next stop. It is no longer in an actual tent but has been moved one of four large exhibit halls in the Pavilion building. The air-conditioning in this venue is more pleasant the old tent area. But a wristband is required to access this area, unlike the past when it was a free attraction.  It is another thing that makes it less of the fan driven experience the started the Candlelight vigil tradition and more of a transaction to keep Graceland in business. With more paid events during Elvis Week, the expectations of the returning fans grow.  Graceland struggles to find a good experience for the regulars in the crowd. The Elvis Tent is a place where these fans try their best to recreate the experience they had in earlier years.  Watching ETAs is part of that experience. I would make several trips back and forth to the Elvis Tent that afternoon.

The first performer I saw was singing I Just Can’t Help Belivin’ but didn’t know his music track well enough and started singing in the wrong place.  Other than that, he was pretty good. He had the sideburns and could affect a decent Elvis accent. His outfit looked like an Elvis themed bowling shirt.

A 17-year-old performer from Myrtle Beach didn’t do much to look like Elvis. I guess his pink polo shirt was supposed to suggest Elvis, but it didn’t work.  The black and white two-toned shoes make him the most Elvis-like, other than a good voice. When I asked him what he planned to do when he graduates high school, he said he might pursue more Elvis music or some other kind of music. I think only suggested still doing Elvis music because that’s what the fans at Elvis Week expect.  His dad was wearing a shirt with his picture on it doing Elvis moves.

Later I saw an ETA using a prop guitar.  I don’t remember seeing anyone do this before.  The way he used it, I’m pretty sure he didn’t know how to play it.  There was no attempt to really play guitar.  But he was a good singer. He did some work in the crowd and the group of women sitting immediately in front of me called him over so they could flirt with him.   

One of the ETAs wearing a black vest made a callback to the Elvis movie by declaring that Elvis is the hero in our comic book.

One of my breaks from the Elvis Tent, I was walking between buildings when I met a small utility vehicle on the sidewalk. I stepped out into the grass and stirred up a nest of fire ants that attacked my right ankle.  It took a while, but I was successful and getting them off me.

I got a notice at 2:30 that the heat advisory was extended to 9 pm.  I am still considering going home early.

When I went to one of the on-site restaurants, I met a lady from Jonesboro, Arkansas with Elvis glasses and fake sideburns hanging off the earpieces.  This was her second Elvis Week with her first one being last year.

Late afternoon, a line was forming in the area to go through security for the vigil.  It was hot and I was still considering leaving early. At an Igloo Beverage Cooler that was set up for people in line, there were 3 people in front of me getting water, 2 women and a man. One woman had sunglasses that I complimented. Told me she was from France. She didn’t understand English well enough to understand anything I said when I tried to tell her where I’m from. When they got their water, they started pouring on their foreheads and rubbing it in their hair. It reminded me of a Methodist baptism.

I ended up going to the vigil ceremony but not going up to the gravesite. It was too hot to stand in the line early enough to get done early.  I met a lady named Sabrina last year and I hung out with her and her family.  She lives in the Nashville area but comes to Memphis regularly for Elvis related events.  She also goes to other Elvis events around the country.  While I’ve met dedicated Elvis fans over the years, I’ve gotten to know Sabrina better.  I’ve gotten insight into the world of a dedicated Elvis fan.  While I hung out with her, she would meet ETAs that she knew well.  There were other Elvis fans that she talked to that were other regulars at the events she attends.  The way the network of people interacted made this event feel a little less like a fan convention and more like a family reunion. 

Before the ceremony started, I spotted a guy that I wish I had gotten in a picture. He had a tee shirt that said “I grew upon Elvis”.   His disheveled look made him look like a cross between a drunk Harry Dean Stanton character and drunk Mr. Gower, the pharmacist that George Bailey worked for in It’s A Wonderful Life.

The executives from Graceland spoke before the vigil ceremony started.  They apologized for the waits in the heat.  It sounded like they didn’t know what the typical Candlelight Vigil experience was like.  When they were considering steps to improve the experience, they said they would ask themselves one question: What would Elvis do? This brought back memories of my first Candlelight Vigil experience in 2002 when I ran into a couple of young women wearing and selling shirts similar to the popular at that time “What Would Jesus Do?” shirts and paraphernalia.  Their shirts had “WWED” letters wrapped in a Christian fish symbol. We have come full circle from a parody of a Christian movement to a legitimate initiative from Elvis Presley Enterprises.

They were also looking forward to an effort they called their “Road to 50” with the 50^th anniversary of Elvis’ death coming in 3 years.  I feel that part of that has to do with their desire for bigger crowds, which always happen on any anniversary year that ends in 5 or 0.  They want a return to the carnival atmosphere instead of the ghost town that the visitor center seems to be during most of the time.

There is no signature story from this year’s trip. As I have told people about my trip over the past few weeks, the fire ants have been my go-to story.  And that’s not a good Elvis Week story. I was more interested in a stop at Waffle House on the way home than I was interested in visiting the gravesite at Graceland.  I’m sure I’m on the road to 50 with the rest of the Elvis fans but I hope the coming years provide a more fulfilling experience.

Several years ago, I was in the locker room of a gym where I had been working out.  A friend that I had not seen for several months came in and said hi when he saw me.  His name is not Bill but that’s what I’ll call him.  While Bill was changing into his workout clothes, put bandages over his nipples.  I had heard of people doing this to protect their nipples from getting irritated by rubbing against their shirt, but I had never seen anyone do it.  I didn’t think that much about it and sort of filed this away in my memory bank. 

A few days later, I was back in the locker room of the same gym.  While I was changing, I noticed a used bandage on the floor.  I wondered if this was one of Bill’s bandages…

One year for Christmas, my mother bought me a copy of the album Why Can’t We Be Friends by War. This album has two hits, the title track and Low Rider. While I love these songs, this is an album that I would have never bought for myself. It had probably been out for a couple of years before I received it.  That didn’t stop me from listening to it and it became a favorite.  One of the highlights of the album was the first song on side 2.  It’s an instrumental song that lasts for over seven minutes called Smile Happy. This song has become one of my go-to chill-out songs.  It doesn’t put me to sleep but it has a calming effect on me to help me relax at the end of the day. 

Over the years, Smile Happy has been one of the songs that I listen to a lot. It was an early add to my instrumental music play list on my iPod. When we started getting Amazon Echo devices in our home, we started using the Amazon Music service that comes with Prime to listen to music. This version of their music service doesn’t have the variety in their Amazon Music Unlimited plan which we eventually started using.  When we were using the regular plan, I found for artists like Frank Zappa, they had a few of his most popular albums but the Unlimited plan gave you practically all his music.  Part of my decision to go with the Unlimited plan was because the album Why Can’t We Be Friends was available only with the advanced plan. I would regularly listen to this album just to hear Smile Happy.

Then one day, asked Alexa to play it and she replied that it wasn’t available.  I could only get her to play the hit songs from this album but not the whole thing. They had removed one of my favorite albums.  It’s back on the service now but as with any streaming service for music or video, items that you count on being available can disappear at any moment.  Similarly, Steve Martin’s A Wild and Crazy Guy album isn’t currently streaming on Amazon Music Unlimited, but all his other comedy albums are.  None of his comedy albums show up in a search on the free version of the Spotify app. All of this to say, if there is music that you really love, I suggest purchasing it, with physical media probably being the most reliable format.  Digital copies are probably ok if you can make reliable backups.

Going to the Mid-South Fair at the Fairgounds in Memphis, TN was a yearly trip for my family.  In addition to the rides, we would also visit all of the buildings with a variety of exhibits. In 1977, we were going though one of these exhibit halls when we came up to a booth with Jerry “The King” Lawler.  In addition to having one of the most popular television shows on Saturday mornings, Memphis Wrestling played to sellout crowds each Monday night at the Mid-South Coliseum, the arena also located at the Memphis Fairgrounds.  Jerry Lawler was their biggest star.  Watching Memphis Wrestling was a big part of my Saturday morning routine. While I had seen Lawler at live matches, this was going to provide a chance to meet him for the first time.

His booth was in a building that had fewer exhibits than most.  I was surprised that there was not a line to meet him. At his booth, I was able to meet him and get my picture taken with him. Next, they took the black and white Polaroid picture and blew it up to poster size. Lawler then autographed the poster.  My mom put this picture in a better frame than it deserved and hung it in my bedroom. At some point, my wife and I inherited this poster.  It is currently on display in our master bedroom.

At the beginning of chapter 15 of It’s Good to be The King…Sometimes, Jerry Lawler’s 2002 autobiography, he talks selling these posters at the fair that year.  One of his friends had this poster making equipment and arranged to have him do this at the fair.  This is also where he met his second wife Paula who was taking money and running the poster equipment. When I was getting my picture made with him, I never imagined I would be that close to an important event in his life.

When I was in college, I was having a party in my dorm room.  My dorm room parties were tame compared to my fraternity parties.  I decided that we needed party games.  I went to the local KMart and purchased a Pin The Tail On The Donkey game. While I was putting up the poster for that game, I remembered the Why Can’t We Be Friends album by War included a poster with a picture of the band. All members of the band were black except for harmonica player Lee Oskar.  With his white man afro and bushy mustache, I thought he was Puerto Rican although he is originally from Copenhagen, Denmark.  I hung the War poster on the wall for the party so we could also play Pin The Tail On The Puerto Rican. While we played both games, my new spin on this traditional game was a hit.

The following year, I was going to throw another party. Pin The Tail On The Puerto Rican was so much of a hit that I wanted to do it again.  I had saved my War poster but didn’t save the Pin The Tail On The Donkey game. I searched every store in town but couldn’t find another one. The closest thing I could find was Feed Bugs A Carrot, featuring Bugs Bunny. Like the other game, I found this at KMart. The idea of both games was the same so I thought I could come up with a modification that would work.  I found an Ozzy Osborne poster with him sitting on a throne.  That evening, we enjoyed playing a few rounds of Feed Ozzy A Carrot.

My first exposure to Dick Gregory was when I bought a book in the early 1970’s called Breaking It Up! The Best Routines of the Stand-Up Comics.  Several years later, I picked up a copy of his album The Light Side: The Dark Side where he talked about his political career including a run for president in the 1968 election as a write-in candidate for the Freedom and Peace Party.    Although I was a collector of comedy albums, this would be the only Dick Gregory album I would buy.  Part of the reason for this was his albums were very hard to find.  And even though this album was very funny, the political and social issues he discussed made it one that I wouldn’t listen to as often as my favorite comedy albums. 

Several years later, I was living in Jackson, Tennessee and our local community college invited him to speak as part of their Black History Month celebration.  My schedule worked out where I would be able to see him.  I was happy to get to hear him talk about his career and his connections to the Jackson area.  This was also the first time I had heard him talk as an advocate for vegetarian diet products which would become what he was known for as much as comedy. 

After his presentation, the school had a reception for him in one of the buildings.  I thought it would be nice to be able to say that I had a chance to meet Dick Gregory. I happen to have one of the programs for the event in my hand. Even though I wasn’t expecting to get his autograph, he took my program and signed it.  When I got home, I placed the program in the album jacket for safe keeping. 

Years later when we were downsizing, I sold my record collection and overlooked getting the program out of the album.  Somewhere, someone managed to get a collector’s item along with a vintage comedy album.

UPDATE: Less that a week after posting this story, I was going through the handful of albums that I kept when downsizing my collection. I was surprised when I found my Dick Gregory album with the autographed program still inside the jacket.