Back in early February of 1978, I was a sophomore in high school. I saw an article in the local paper that said The Gong Show was going to do a Roadshow version of their show in Jackson, TN on February 11. The auditions for the show would be held at the Holiday Inn in Jackson on the 4th and 5th. I was a big fan of The Gong Show ever since it started airing in 1976. I decided to take a chance and audition.
I had two ideas for acts to audition. The first was playing the William Tell Overture on my harmonica. This was the first thing that I did during my audition with a man named Richard Daniel Clark. Richard was an Australian who would also serve as the host of the show. He had the vibe of a star that you have never heard of. Years later he would end up serving as co-host of a touring show with Bob Eubanks called Hollywood’s Greatest Game Shows. Richard thought my harmonica was ok but it wasn’t really what he was looking for. He didn’t tell me no, but he wanted to see what else I could do. I pulled a sheet of paper out of my pocket and began to read my poem. His face lit up was I read my original poem, Ode to a Toilet. This was the kind of act he was looking for. The poem was juvenile toilet humor but clean enough to be read in public. It was inspired by the poems of the Ernie Kovacs’ character, Percy Dovetonsils. I could tell that he enjoyed the poem and felt like we could develop this into an act that he could use on the show. He told me, “You realize that you might get gonged.” I told him that I would expect to be gonged. He didn’t want me to get my feelings hurt. I knew that an important part of this show would be the kind of acts that get boos and eventually get gonged. I was more than willing to play that part. He suggested that I wear something crazy. I opted for a dress, a wig, and a lone ranger mask. We also bought a new toilet seat for me to carry onstage.
The night of the show, I ran into a trio of girls I knew backstage. They were a talented vocal group who were doing a regular, talent show performance. They gave me someone to hang out with backstage while waiting to go on.
I went on late in the first half of the show. The boos started almost immediately. My poem also got a few laughs along the way. One of the local celebrity judges was a lady named Doris Freeman who was known as Cousin Tuny. Her character was a Minnie Pearl type that had been the host of a local children’s show long before I could remember. Cousin Tuny gonged me as I spoke the final words of the poem.