Categories
Birthday

2024 Birthday Gifts

As usual, my wife has been embarrassingly generous to me again, showering me with birthday gifts each day in March. Because of my weight loss, the clothes were desperately needed.  And I get as excited about other necessities as I do the more elaborate gifts.  Her creativity is amazing and appreciated.  Thank you for another outstanding birthday celebration.

01 – Frank August Small Batch Bourbon

02- From Hollywood to Heaven – The Lost and Saved Films of the Ormond Family Blu-ray set

03 – 100 pack Shark razor blades and 2 mini bottles of Casamigos blanco tequila

04 – Fine Barber Blue after shave

05 – Blue and white striped shirt and khaki pants

06 – Huxley College sweatshirt

07 – The Gonzo Tapes – The Life and Works of Hunter S. Thompson CD set

08 – Widow Jane Bourbon

09 – The Hershel Gordon Lewis Feast Blu-ray set

10 – Elvis and Me book by Pricilla Presley and and Elvis Blue Hawaii shirt

11 – Light reddish shirt and khaki pants

12 – Bourbon Curious book

13 – Fine Bay Rum shaving soap

14 – 2 short sleeve shirts and a pair of shorts

15 – Breakin’ Blu-ray.

16 – Breakin’ 2 Electric Boogaloo Blu-ray

17 – Huxley College tee shirt and grey shorts

18 – Taylor of Old Bond Street shaving cream and 2 mini bottles of Casamigos blanco tequila

19 – mp3 player

20 – Blue shorts and a Three Stooges tee shirt

21 – Tube of Taylor of Old Bond Street shaving cream and small bottle of Bourbon cologne

22 – Lucky Seven The Workhorse bourbon

23 – Igloo Party Bar cooler with Frank August bourbon and Frank Ferante tickets

24 – Fine Italian Citrus after shave and shaving soap

25 – Grey shorts and Marx Brothers tee shirt

26 – The Bartenders Guide to Bourbon and Whiskey

27 – Grey striped shirt and khaki pants

28 – Fine Clubhouse after shave and shaving soap

29 – Beer and Bourbon nuts

30 – Cruzan Coconut Rum

31 – Laurel and Hardy tee shirt and khaki shorts

Categories
True Stories

Windmill Noise Cancer

On April 4, 2019, I was about 3 days late with one of my best April Fool’s pranks.  I made a post on Facebook that said, “Asking for your prayers today as I go to the doctor later to be checked for windmill noise cancer. TIA.” Donald Trump had been in the news earlier that week making false claims that noise from windmills cause cancer.  Obviously, this is BS.  So, my request for prayers was intended as a joke, making fun of a stupid statement from a dumb politician whose dumbness is so dumb, the likes of which we have never seen.  This post received comments from 31 people. It also received 18 thumbs up, 10 laughs, 5 hearts and 2 shocked faces. About 9 of the people that commented got that it was a joke.  The rest of the people were seriously concerned. I’m convinced that most of them didn’t read the post that close.  When they saw the words doctor and cancer, they were ready to share their sympathy.  I really appreciate their intentions and concern for me.  Some probably hadn’t even heard the news about Trump’s dumb statement and assumed that it was a real thing.  Most of the responses in the comments were statements like “Praying” or “Prayers”.  A couple of people that I knew got the joke offered “thoughts and prayers” in the style of the empty concerns express by politicians reluctant to do anything else relating to mass shootings. One of my friends had a long prayer for me asking for complete healing of my body.  My response was to say nothing and let this play out.  I was enjoying watching the reactions.  

Categories
True Stories

Little Green Apples

Several years ago, during a meeting at church, I had to go to the restroom.  As usual, I planned to wash my hands before I returned to the meeting.  A bottle of green apple scented hand soap was sitting next to the sink in the restroom. When I pressed the pump of the dispenser, a glob of soap shot past the open palm of my hand, hitting the front of my khaki pants, next to the bottom part of the zipper.  This is an embarrassing place to have a wet spot on your pants.  Because it was soap, it wasn’t going to fade was it dried like it would have if I had just splashed water on my pants.  Soap also has a thicker consistency.  This suggested that I had done something in my pants other than just wetting myself. Additionally, this soap had a strong, Jolly Rancher type green apple scent.  Attempting to return to the meeting as quickly as possible, I untucked my shirt trying to cover the spot on my pants. I couldn’t do anything about the smell.  I also sat at the back of the meeting room to draw less attention.  I was sitting next to a good friend.  I told him I had an accident.  I lifted my shirt to show him the spot.  He restrained a laugh.  I explained what happened.  Then I told him I felt like a green apple pervert.

Categories
True Stories

Mistaken Identity

I know I’m not the only person in the world that has their names mispronounced.  When I’m introducing myself, there have been countless times people have replied, “Nice to meet you, Mark!” or “Nice to meet you, Mr. Weaver!” Sometimes it both.  Years ago, I received a call at work from a salesman. When I answered my phone, he asked, “How are you today Mr. Weiner?” I thought to myself, “A lot better than you are! I don’t care what you are selling!”

Categories
Wrestling

Fight Breaks Out at Wrestling Match

A coworker who knows that I occasionally watch professional wrestling recently asked me if I had seen a program on the Discovery channel called Big Little Brawlers.  It is a reality series about a little person wrestling organization based in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee.  Next, he mentioned that they were going to do a show soon in Jackson, Tennessee, where I live.  I immediately started doing research and found out that the Micro Wrestling Federation would be doing a show at a bar called the Slide and Ride a couple of weeks later in Jackson.  The Slide and Ride is a large enough bar to host concerts and even weekly bull riding contests on real bulls, not a mechanical bull.  I’ve never been one to go nightclubs, especially country themed bars.  Over the years, the local ones had reputations for being a good place to get your butt kicked if anyone decided you didn’t fit in.  I don’t think I look like I belong in a country bar so the only thing that might be able to get me into one of these places would be a wrestling show featuring little people. 

Categories
True Stories

My Fez

I am a fan of Laurel and Hardy movies.  One of their more popular films is called Sons of the Desert.  In this film, they are members of a fraternal lodge called the Sons of the Desert.  Part of their uniform is Fez with the name of the organization on the front.  The official Laurel and Hardy fan club is named after this film.  A few years ago, I was wondering if I might be able to purchase a Sons of the Desert fez.  I discovered a company called Fez-O-Rama that makes them, but they don’t keep them in stock all the time.  They have made limited runs of them in the past but were never available when I had checked.  In mid-January of 2024 (this month as I write this), I was watching the movie Casablanca. When I saw Sidney Greenstreet’s character wearing a fez, it made me want to check to see if Fez-O-Rama had made anymore.  I just happened to check it during the one week out of the year that they took orders for this fez. They limit their orders to a run of 50.  On January 15, I got my wife to measure my head and I placed my order for a Sons of the Desert fez. 

Categories
Celebrities

Welcome to Flint, Michigan

Several years ago, I was involved in a training program at work where I had to travel to Flint, Michigan several times a year. I spent a full week in the Flint area during each trip, weekends included.  Another person from our facility was in the program at the same time and we traveled together.  We traveled by shuttle bus back and forth between the airport and the cabins where we stayed and the training took place.  This story takes place on what was probably our third of six trips to Flint. We had completed that week and training and were riding the shuttle bus back to the airport.  I was reading something during our short trip and wasn’t paying attention to anything at the airport when we arrived.  Before our shuttle bus could stop, my traveling companion said, “Look, there’s that guy that I don’t like.” I looked up expecting to see someone from our training program which would have been odd because my friend liked practically everyone in the program.  I couldn’t imagine him seeing anyone else that he knew at the Flint airport other than the people in our sessions.  I didn’t see any of our fellow trainees outside the airport.  I finally saw film director Michael Moore, maker of Roger and Me and Bowling for Columbine among other films.  I knew that my friends were more conservative than mine and I could understand why he would say what he did.  I am a fan of Michael Moore and was excited to see him.  What better place to encounter him than his hometown?

Categories
Celebrities

Flying With Woody

Woody Widenhofer was an assistant for the Pittsburg Steelers from 1973-1983 when they were having many of their trips to the Super Bowl.  He was also head coach for Vanderbilt University from 1997-2001. So, it was no surprise to end up on a plane with him when I was flying out of Nashville on a trip during the years he was there.  I didn’t immediately recognize him and wasn’t absolutely sure it was him until after I got off the plane. 

Categories
Celebrities

Celebrities Galore!

This trip occurred in May of 2001. I was travelling back to Nashville from Oklahoma City.  There were changes to my itinerary which ended up routing me through Atlanta even though I wasn’t originally scheduled to go there.  But this was a better alternative than not getting home when I had planned.  It’s no surprise to see celebrities when travelling through airports, especially when you go through larger, busier cities.  This trip resulted in the most celebrity encounters that any trip. 

Categories
Celebrities

Marlo Thomas Ran Over Me

When I was in elementary school, I took voice lessons from a man named Joe Kincaid.  Joe gave these lessons at the school where I went.  He was also the band director.  There were many kids from the area that took lessons from him, several that didn’t attend our school. He had success with several soloists and vocal groups at area talent shows. Several times during the year, he would put on shows with all his students.  The shows would usually begin and end with a larger production number where all the students sang together.  Around 1970 when I was in second grade, the show included the medley Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In from the musical Hair. The recording by The 5th Dimension was a big hit at that time. Everyone in the show dressed in hippie costumes for the production.