A couple of weeks ago, I was asked to help judge a talent show. I enjoy watching talent contests, especially when there is a possibility that some of the contestants may not be very good. I enjoy watching American Idol during the audition episodes because this is when you get to see a lot of people who have a false sense of confidence about their musical ability. Watching these train wrecks can be very entertaining. Beauty pageants with a talent component have the same appeal for me. It is unfortunate for these beautiful young women that they have to come up with some sort of talent to participate in these competitions. Many sing that should never sing. More of them should try ventriloquism. Bad ventriloquists are more tolerable than bad singers. There isn’t that much difference between a good and bad ventriloquist.
Anyway, this is the second talent show I’ve been asked to judge in the last few years. The previous talent show had younger children than this one. This contest had older kids and promised the possibility of moving on to bigger competitions. This was more serious business. I was possibly the oldest judge in the bunch but my music and entertainment credentials were the least among the bunch. I was with music educators, professional musicians and performers that I respected. I’m just some hack singer/songwriter that one of the organizers could count on when they needed a male among the judges.
As the contest began, I made a mental list of rules for myself. These rules were intended to help me be a better judge and help keep me from hurting the feelings of any young person in the competition. Here are my rules:
