During the early 200’s, my family and I discovered a new group of bad movies. This group of movies was labeled as “so bad they are good” to differentiate them from the films labeled as Golden Turkeys in the past. One of the first of this group was a Film called Troll 2.
While I won’t try to share all the details of Troll 2, I will try and share enough to let you know why this film is so beloved by its fans. First, there are no trolls in Troll 2. There are goblins but no trolls. Next you should know that Troll 2 is not a sequel to the film Troll. Troll 2 was originally titled Goblins, but the distributors wanted to market it as a sequel to Troll. The movie was filmed by an Italian production company in Utah with an Italian-speaking crew, working with an inexperienced English-speaking group of actors. They were working with a script written in Italian and poorly translated into English, making the dialogue of the film one of the sources of humor.
In the film, Joshua, the young son of the Waits family has regular conversations with his recently deceased grandfather. His Grandpa Seth warns him about the vacation that his family is about to take. They are going to a small town called Nilbog where they will live in a family’s house for a week and that family will come to the Waits’ house. The older sister of the Waits family has a boyfriend who wants to tag along but insists on bringing his 3 buddies in a camper. The natives of Nilbog all seem robotic but leave food for the Waits that Grandpa Seth warns Joshua not to let his family eat. It turns out that everyone in the town is a goblin. If the Waits eat the food that was left for them, it will turn them into plants and the goblins can then eat them since they are vegetarians. Joshua prevents his family from eating the food by pissing on it. His punishment is a lecture from his father who tells him, “You can’t piss on hospitality! I WON”T ALLOW IT!!”
During a trip into town to try and find food, Joshua discovers that Nilbog is actually goblins spelled backwards! At various points in the film, the Waits family is given chances to eat food. This usually includes green Kool-Aid and cake with green frosting. The characters that ate any of this food would start to ooze green liquid from their hairline as they started turning into plants. Because of the whole plant theme, they put green frosting on a lot of the food including food where it didn’t belong like corn on the cob. There is a funny scene where the residents of Nilbog are trying to force Joshua to eat ice cream.
The boyfriend’s buddies are each sought out by the goblins and turned into plants with the help of a goblin witch character named Creedence Leonore Gielgud. This character has bad teeth and lips when she is in her witch state but sometimes transforms into an attractive seductress but is always overacting like no one has overacted before. The boyfriend eventually joins the family in their exchange house for a final face-off with the goblins. Joshua is able to bring down the goblins my eating a double decker bologna sandwich in the presence of the monsters.
This leaves out some of the insane things that happen during the film. During the ride to Nilbog, the mother is trying to get Joshua to stop complaining by telling him to sing that song she loves so much. After a little resistance, he gives in and starts singing Row, Row Row Your Boat. The only food available at the store in town is Nilbog milk that appears to be curdled. It is sold by a creepy looking guy that appears to be mentally disturbed.
Actor Michale Paul Stephenson portrayed Joshua. In 2010, 30 years after the release of Troll 2 he made a documentary about Troll 2 and the cult following it has developed called Best Worst Movie. The title comes in part from the fact that at one point this popular film had the absolute lowest rating of all films listed on IMDB. It follows George Hardy, the actor who portrayed the father. In real life, he is a dentist. The film follows him as he goes to autograph sessions at monster festivals and special screenings. He regularly stands in front of the adoring crowds and repeats, “You can’t piss on hospitality! I WON”T ALLOW IT!!” He seems to be a nice guy but is not a good actor. The film also catches up with some of the other people involved in the production including the actors that portrayed the creepy store owner and the mother. These are noteworthy because both appear to be having some sort of mental health problem or have fallen on hard times.
We discovered Best Worst Movie soon after we found a Rifftrax version of the film where some of the Mystery Science Theater alumni make fun of the film as it shows. Our family regularly watches MST3K and Rifftrax sendups of bad movies and this is one of our favorites. Back in 2018, our family went to see this at a dusk ‘till dawn drive in move show with 4 other bad movies. We have talked about doing a Troll 2 themed movie night with deserts decorated like the food in the movie. I highly recommend seeing both Troll 2 and the documentary. Troll is also an entertaining bad movie but not on the level of Troll 2.
