A coworker who knows that I occasionally watch professional wrestling recently asked me if I had seen a program on the Discovery channel called Big Little Brawlers. It is a reality series about a little person wrestling organization based in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. Next, he mentioned that they were going to do a show soon in Jackson, Tennessee, where I live. I immediately started doing research and found out that the Micro Wrestling Federation would be doing a show at a bar called the Slide and Ride a couple of weeks later in Jackson. The Slide and Ride is a large enough bar to host concerts and even weekly bull riding contests on real bulls, not a mechanical bull. I’ve never been one to go nightclubs, especially country themed bars. Over the years, the local ones had reputations for being a good place to get your butt kicked if anyone decided you didn’t fit in. I don’t think I look like I belong in a country bar so the only thing that might be able to get me into one of these places would be a wrestling show featuring little people.
I wasn’t sure if I would even go but my friend David was on board and available. The night of the show, we met and the Slide and Ride. Soon after we entered the bar, we got to meet a couple of the wrestlers that I recognized from watching the first episode of Big Little Brawlers. A guy name Lil Show, aka The Redneck Brawler was the first one we met. The television show indicated that he helped run the program when they were doing the road shows. The next guy we encountered that I remembered from the show was Hot Rod. He was one of my favorites from the show and soon offered to autograph a shirt if I bought one of his.
One of the first performers Little Ozzy, a little person Ozzy Ozborne impersonator. I don’t think he ever wrestles; he only sings Black Sabbath and Ozzy’s solo songs. He sang at least parts of 4 songs, all crowd pleasers and the audience sang along. Little Ozzy was a great entertainer.
The little people weren’t the only entertainment for the night. For a people watcher like me, this event was ripe with opportunities. During Little Ozzy’s performance, I couldn’t help but notice a guy standing in between us and the ring with his arms around 2 women. It looked like he was trying to grind on both at the same time. But it appeared that his technique would offer no pleasure to anyone, only annoying the women. Standing next to the grinding man was a guy wearing what had to be a 40-gallon cowboy hat. It was about as big as it could be without being one of those foam hats that is intended to be ridiculously huge. David’s view of the ring was blocked but fortunately, hat guy was also holding up his cell phone recording Little Ozzy and David could see his screen.
All night, the performers were mingling with the crowd. David and I were standing at a high-top table next to a high traffic area. One time when Little Ozzy walked by, he hit his head on the edge of our table.
One highlight of the evening was a match where Disco Dom wrestled Zach Presley. Zach claimed to be from Memphis and dressed in a gold lamé jacket like Elvis. He danced around the ring like Elvis before the match. At some point during their match, the action moved from the ring to ringside. Because most of the crowd was standing, anytime the wrestling moved outside of the ring it was difficult to see what was going on. Soon after this happened, we noticed some security guards from all over the building moving to the side of the ring with the wrestlers. A few moments later, a couple of the security guards came by our table holding a woman who was struggling to get away from them. They were taking her in the direction of the front door. A couple of minutes after that, a couple more security guards came by with another woman. She wasn’t fighting with them but was bleeding from the side of her head. Later, I talked to someone who was on the other side of the ring who had seen the first woman break a beer bottle over the second woman’s head. We couldn’t see the fight because the wrestling little people were in the way.
After a much-needed intermission, the referee, Micro Jackson, did Michael Jackson Thriller dance moves to the Michael Jackson song Bad. The third singles match of the night featured the current champion, Hot Rod, going against Baby Jesus. Baby Jesus was the only one of the performers who didn’t say anything to the crowd. The other wrestlers talked smack, while Micro Jackson and Little Ozzy revved up the crowd before their performances. Baby Jesus just wrestled. Hot Rod got disqualified from this championship match because a couple of other “bad guys” interfered in the match. The commentator said that they “crucified” Baby Jesus. The title didn’t change hands because the interference, so they decided to have a 6-man battle royale to determine the new champion. Baby Jesus won the battle royale and was declared the new champion. I’m sure that the next night, Hot Rod started as champion and Baby Jesus was crowned king again.