I know better than to do this, but I just can’t help myself. I received a text message from someone I obviously don’t know and I decided to respond like the message was for me. The only deception in my first responses was that I was not the person they thought they were texting. I had no idea who this person was or what direction the conversation would go. Here is what happened today.
The first text was time stamped at 6:32 AM on Saturday, February 1, 2014.
Text: Want anything from jack in the box.
There are no Jack in the Box restaurants anywhere around where I live. I didn’t pick up my phone until 11:40 AM when I replied.
Me: Yes
Text: Yes?
Me: A couple of burgers.
Text: That was hours ago. you saw me eat what I got from there. Sorry, you should have texted me then. But you look stunning today.
Me: Thanks.
Text: Are you mad?
Me: No.
Text: You sure? With these few word answers you seem upset. Before you left it looked like you and Vasquesz we’re in a cat fight. She’s been in a bad mood since you left too. Are you two still together?
Up to this point, I have been honest with my answers. Yes, I have been deceptive just by continuing this conversation, but I hadn’t lied about anything. I was hungry and did want a couple of burgers. But this is where I would take the deception to the next level.
Me: Yes
Text: Ok cool… I don’t want to get in the middle of drama but for a second my world crumbled. where else am I going to find a lesbian couple to play with?
Ok, so now we have established that the person on the other end of the conversation thinks I am a woman. I also know that Vasquez is a woman since Vasquez is referred to as “she”. I’m not exactly certain of the gender of the person I’m receiving texts from. The messages continued.
Text: We still on for drinks and toy shopping at Christies toy box tonight?
A quick Google check shows that Christie’s Toy Box is a chain of sex toy shops based in Oklahoma City with all but 2 of them in Oklahoma. I didn’t look it up until later but I assumed that this was the kind of store the person was talking about.
Me: Definitely
Text: What are you up to right now? I feel like you’re busy and can’t text?
Me: Very busy. Can’t talk right now.
Text: Do your thing girl. Text me before tonight though because we still haven’t talked about the Gina disaster I had wednesday. (Oh yeah she won’t be coming tonight: and you haven’t told me about your first man experience last night. What was it like? Ttyl. Hopefully you’ll be more talkative.
Me: Ok.
Text: See!
This was the last message I received from this person. I assumed that this last one was another complaint about the shortness of my responses.
Early in the text chain, I considered telling this person that I was not who they thought I was. As the conversation continued, I realized that my best option was to just play along, keep the conversation going as long as I could and not get any calls from this person.
As of this writing, I haven’t received any additional messages from this person. I’m assuming that this person was involved in an awkward conversation at Christies Toy Box sometime on Saturday night.