Author: elvisgumby

Skating on Ice

John Pechonick was my favorite chemistry professor in college. He was a short, muscular man with bushy eyebrows. One of my friends described him as looking like a cross between Popeye and E.T. When he spoke, the words seemed to come out the side of his mouth in a sound that was almost like a growl. My freshman chemistry class was scheduled for 1:20, the first time slot right after lunch. He expected us there at 1:00 sharp to start working on the questions he had written on the chalkboard. If you weren’t writing something, he would stand by you, look over your shoulder and nudge your arm with his leg to encourage you to write something. He didn’t like anyone to wear caps in his classroom. He wouldn’t tell you to remove your hat. He would say, “I didn’t know we were having a game today! If I had known, I would have brought my bat and glove!”

Kids

Chairs

Several years ago when my youngest daughter was still little, she was playing one day in our kitchen. As she walked around the kitchen table, she would assign a gender to each chair. She would say, “This is a boy chair, this is a girl chair, this is a girl chair, this is a boy chair” and so on. The gender of the chairs seemed to be totally random because it didn’t alternate for every chair and there wasn’t a boy chair for every girl chair. Nor did it seem to have anything to do with the gender of the person that usually in that position around the table. I took an interest in her game and then I asked her this question: Do you know how to tell the difference between the boy chairs and the girl chairs? She didn’t have an answer for me. I had an answer for her. If you want to know the answer that I gave her, send me an email at art@artwheelermusic.net.

Mexico Travel

The Pyramids of Mexico

In October of 2003, I was traveling in Mexico on business. Any other time that I had been to Mexico on business, I had traveled to a U.S. border town and crossed over for the day. For this trip, we were supposed to travel into Mexico City. I was traveling with two other Americans. One was on the flight with me. We were supposed to me the other man at the airport in Mexico City. He worked for the company we were visiting. He was going to meet us in the airport but we were unable to locate him. The plan was for us to meet him and take a 2 hour bus ride to Santiago de Queretaro, a city that is northwest of Mexico City. We waited for a while but finally decided to go on to the bus station in the airport. But we didn’t know our way around the airport. I don’t read Spanish but the guy that I traveled with did. It didn’t matter. We couldn’t find the bus station. We were walking by a cab stand in the airport and I guess we looked a little too lost. A man asked if he could help and we asked for directions to the bus station. He asked where we wanted to go. We knew better than to go with him but was very insistent that we go with him. He promised he could take us wherever we wanted to go. We were able to get away from him and we finally found the bus station. We hadn’t found our third traveling companion but we decided to proceed on to our destination.

True Stories

All In The Family

When I was in elementary school, my mother’s family seemed to get together almost every other weekend during the spring and summer. I have three male cousins that are really close to my age that would always be at these family reunions. It was also good that we had each other to keep entertained. Some of these reunions were held at the old school houses in the rural West Tennessee communities that were barely recognized as communities anymore. Some of these buildings had been re-purposed as community centers but some were barely safe to be in. I don’t know that any of them had air conditioning, some were without electricity and I don’t know that any of them had indoor plumbing. It was an adventure just getting into some of these buildings.

Kids

There’s Something About Mary

Post author By elvisgumby
Post date May 27, 2014
No Comments on There’s Something About Mary

Several years ago, we used a satellite service for television. When we first subscribed to this service, we were unable to get our local channels. I wasn’t interested in dealing with all of the processes that were necessary to get network feeds from New York and Los Angeles. We had no antenna and lived far enough away from any city where we might be able to pick up any networks so we went without for about 3 years. The only network we could get was ABC but we were far enough out of town that it didn’t come in very clear. At the time, our children were very young and their interests dictated a lot of what we watched. We didn’t feel that we were missing that much on network TV. This was at the same time that Survivor was starting out and was a big hit. It didn’t sound like anything that would appeal to me. It was a rare occasion when I really missed having the networks. Finally, the satellite TV provider started offering local channels and we were eligible to receive the ones from Memphis. We immediately added them to our package. It was at the first of the year when the NFL playoffs are on every weekend. I didn’t realize how much I had missed professional football. The first Sunday after we added the networks to our satellite package, I came home after church, turned on a game on TV and went to sleep on the couch. I hadn’t napped that good in 3 years.

Kids

Chucky Cheese

When I was growing up and had an opportunity to go any place where you played games to win tickets that could be redeemed for prizes, I always dreamed of having enough tickets at the end of the day to get one of the prizes on the top shelf. These included basketballs, lava lamps and the largest stuffed animals ever made. I don’t think Chucky Cheese was around when I was little and I never went to one until my children were born and old enough to be interested.

Funeral True Stories

Another Funeral Story

A few years ago, I was at a visitation at the funeral home for a family member that I didn’t know that well. There were several family members there that I know I had met in the past but I rarely ever saw them so in many ways it was like meeting them for the first time. At one point, I found myself standing with my aunt and her daughter. They were among the few people there that I knew well. My aunt introduced us to one of her cousins that I had heard of but didn’t remember ever meeting. We were making small talk and someone asked him how he had been doing. He said, “I buried my wife earlier this year.” My cousin replied, “Well congratulations!” She thought he had said that he married his wife. I gave my cousin a confused look and her mother shouted her name. We quickly sorted out what had happened and were able to get a laugh out of the situation. That year for Christmas, my cousin received hearing aid batteries as a gag gift.

Funeral True Stories

Funeral Story

When my grandfather died, I remember being at the funeral home with my family. I remember that a lot of people came to see us during the visitation time. My family and I were in the process of moving back to the West Tennessee area and we had the opportunity to see a lot of people that we hadn’t seen in a while. My children were very young at the time and everyone wanted to see them too. There wasn’t very much opportunity for me to spend much time alone with my mom. There was one occasion where I my mom and I were alone next to my grandfather’s casket. As we looked at him, I told my mom “He just doesn’t look like himself. He just doesn’t look right being here at the funeral home without food on his tie and his fly unzipped.” It seems like every time we were there, there was the same conversation between me and my six male cousins: “Ok, who’s going to tell granddad that his fly is unzipped THIS time?”

Lambuth Movies

Bad Cinema Club

I have always enjoyed watching movies. I am a fan of the horror movies. When I started to college in 1980, it was a great time for fans of horror movies. Halloween and Friday the 13th had been recent successes and many of the film studios and independent producers tried to piggyback off of their success. Some of the films they made were good but many of them were bad. This was not a problem for me since I am also a fan of bad movies. A friend and I formed a group called the “Bad Cinema Club”. This was an informal group. Anyone who happened to be going with us when we went to see any horror movie was considered a member. Most of the time, we would go to movies on Tuesday evening. This was bargain night at the local theatres. We had no idea before we went to these movies if they were any good or not. Their potential for badness was based on their titles. Like many of the fraternities on campus, we decided to have a “Spring Formal” event. It was going to be a weekend when we decided to go see as many bad movies as we possibly could. At that time, you could pick practically any weekend and see at least one bad horror movie. We picked out the perfect weekend for this event.

Muscle Shoals Travel

Muscle Shoals Trip – Part 3

Post author By elvisgumby
Post date April 13, 2014
No Comments on Muscle Shoals Trip – Part 3

After eating, I had considered just going home but I knew that the Alabama Music Hall of Fame was just right up the road. I decided to stop off to at least see how much it was to get in and look around the lobby. There was a very nice older woman in the lobby who told me the price was $8. She was also relatively vague about how long it would take me to get through it. I decided that it would be worth the time and money.