Category: Elvis Week

“Oh! This is nice!  Louie!!”  She looked around the store with a dead look on her face.  Finally Louie shows up and she shows him the life size cardboard cutout of Elvis.  “Wouldn’t this look nice in our living room?”  Louie replied “actually it wouldn’t.”  It was a rare moment of honesty that you don’t see that often at Graceland.  I don’t know where they were from, but judging from their skin tone and a possible accent, Mr. and Mrs. Louie may not even be from the U. S.  Even if they are, there is a good chance they flew to Memphis for Elvis week.  In a post economic meltdown world, I can imagine them trying to board a plane with this thing.  How much would it cost and where do you store it?  It reminds me of the fight I took out of Memphis the day after Elvis’ birthday several years ago.  A fan club from England was on the flight and someone was trying to board with a velvet Elvis painting.  They don’t go under the seat or in the overhead very easily.  Now you can’t even find a velvet Elvis painting at Graceland.  Louie isn’t the only one feeling the pressure.  It seems like Elvis Presley Enterprises as well as the fans are all feeling the economic crunch.  On a week that celebrates the death of a musical icon, the presence of death feels even more real this year.

When you’ve been to Graceland for the candlelight vigil 6 years in a row, you don’t expect trip number 7 to have any firsts. You think you’ve seen it all. This one had several firsts. Here is a list: 

1. First time to write my name on the wall. 
2. First time to go on the trip with more than one friend at a time. 
3. First time to take pictures inside the house with a good camera. 
4. First time to talk to brothers that were both Elvis Tribute artists. 
5. First time to break in line at the candlelight vigil (in front of the brothers and their wives). 
6. First time to get hugged by an Elvis tribute artist (the brothers). 
7. First time to get a kiss at the candlelight vigil (from one of the brother’s wives). 
8. First time to see a crowd of Elvis fans stand during the singing of “American Trilogy”. It was during the “Dixieland” part of the song and the guy leading it sounded like he was from New Jersey. 
9. First time to see a group of Elvis fans use a communal wash cloth to wipe down while standing in line for the candlelight vigil, even after they dropped it on the ground.

“Hi! This is Art Wheeler. I will be out of the office on August 15th and 16th in observance of the 30th anniversary of the death of Elvis Presley. Thank you very much.” 

As I prepare for my annual trip to Graceland, I looked through some old stuff. Here are some notes on my annual Graceland trip I forwarded to friends back in 2006. 

• You no longer have to pay to park in the official Graceland parking lot.
• The Graceland Crossing souvenir mall is now called “Elvis After Dark”. It is an official Elvis property now and has an arcade. 
• George Klein (member of the Memphis Mafia) actually looks younger now than when he hosted “Dance Party” on WHBQ-TV in the early 70’s. 
• You can argue as loud as you want to in a souvenir store if you are German, shave all your hair off except for a very short oblong circle on the crown of your head that you dye orange, wear dark sunglasses, army boots and a kilt. This is especially true if you are female and are arguing with your sister who is dressed the same way. 
• Blue Hawaii costs $29.99 on DVD in the shops at Graceland. The same DVD costs $5.50 at Wal-Mart. 
• A paper Japanese lantern does an effective job of protecting a candle from the wind at the candlelight vigil and looks neat in pictures. 
• Not all Japanese know how to correctly unfold a paper Japanese lantern before lighting the candle, thus endangering the lives of many Elvis fans at once. 
• The only store where you can buy magic markers to write your name on the wall at Graceland is Boulevard Souvenirs. This is also the only Elvis souvenir store that sells t-shirts with pictures of girls in rebel flag bikinis that say “tequila makes my clothes fall off”. 
• Anyone that needed a bra when Elvis was alive should not go out in public without one now. Tube tops are especially unflattering. 
• If you consider the stroll to the Chinese buffet to get food while at Graceland, it is probably still worth the extra few steps to go on down to KFC. You would only be disappointed with the crab legs. 
• The French are confused with the pricing policies of KFC and a table full of them can obsess over a receipt throughout an entire meal. 
• KFC foods may contain ingredients that cause 6-7 year old girls to dance around and chant, “Go Elvis! Go Elvis!” 
• The winner of the UK version of “American Idol” from 4 seasons ago makes a great Elvis impersonator even if he has only been singing for 4 years. 
• Elvis impersonators from Tuscaloosa, Alabama look more like professional wrestler Bill “Superstar” Dundee than Elvis. 
• The Elvis folding chair comes in the “Vegas”, “GI Blues” and “Blue Hawaii” designs. 
• Some Elvis fans from St. Louis impersonate Elvis fans from Sweden. The only weight available for the Elvis bowling ball is 16 lbs.